I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
