Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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