Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
