I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
