Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
