so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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