Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
