I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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