i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
