she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
