He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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