It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
