Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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