i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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