***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm going to jail i love you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
