So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
