if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
