And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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