A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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