I want to have your abortion
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
