Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
