You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
