At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
