I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
