they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
