I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
