I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
