I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
