I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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