yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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