Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
