My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
