"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
