According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
