I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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