guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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