Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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