I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
