Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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