4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
