We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
