hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
