I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
