How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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