i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
