Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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