Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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