Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
