He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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