Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
