So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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