I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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